When I worked for the State of New Mexico, I spent a good amount of time in a car with a crusty old man, driving down to stakeholder meetings in the south of the state, and counseling him on how I felt the meetings were going. Basically trying to get him to be less crusty and stand-offish. There were definitely times that I had trouble handling him, which seemed to be isolated PTSD-ish incidents. But in general, I lasted longer in his company than most employees.
Recently I attended an annual meeting of an association of mechanical engineers. 95% male, I was told. I was able to meet a number of crusty old men working in the water conservation arena. Shortly after this meeting, one of the men I met emailed one of my co-authors on a paper to complain about how he had not been interviewed for it. (It was a literature review.) I was miffed that although I was the first author and I had just met him, he had not emailed me. My co-author (a self-proclaimed crusty old man) told me to give the crusty old men a break.
After a phone call with said crusty old man today, he again emailed my co-author to ask for a document. Naturally, I responded. His "thank you" email contained his signature with the following quote (which was interestingly not attached to the previous email he had sent my co-author):
"There are three things I like about Italian ships. First, their cuisine, which is unsurpassed. Second, their service, which is quite superb. And then – in time of emergency – there is none of this nonsense about women and children first." Winston Churchill (on why he prefers Italian cruise ships to British cruise ships)Now I realize he probably thinks this is funny in light of the recent cruise ship tragedy (although a sense of humor in regards to that is questionable), but I just don't see how this is appropriate in a work setting. Yes, he does work for himself. But really? I don't think I have to buy the whole "women and children" chivalry to find this somewhat offensive. But at least it gives me ammunition for continuing to asses his nature as a crusty old man. I don't intend to give them a break - giving them a break perpetuates the ongoing anti-female nature of these fields.
2 comments:
I wonder if your success at dealing with the first two examples (relative to others) was due to the quality of your work, or your willingness to call people's bullshit.
I would go with 5% quality of work and 95% willingness to call BS. Most women would just go quietly back to their desks.
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